“If you think you’re too small to make a difference, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito.”
– African proverb

Photo Credit: r000pert (Creative Commons)

When I asked my friend Rachel if she knew a conversation we’d had two years before had been the catalyst for changing my entire life – one of those defining moments, she looked a bit puzzled.

I thought of it as The Rachel Moment, and she didn’t even know it.

She had absolutely no idea.

Rachel Walks the Walk

Rachel and I met in our yoga teacher training with Ana Forrest in 2004. The training was incredibly intense, personal, and healing. We immediately clicked.

At the time, Rachel was an overworked management consultant in Chicago. Halfway through the training, she announced she was going to quit and move to a small skiing town that she’d fell in love with the previous year. She wanted a life where she could ski, rock climb, teach yoga, camp, and hike.

Unlike most people who say they’re going do something like this, Rachel actually did it. All of it. She did it well.

Unhappy in Hong Kong

In the fall of 2008, Rachel took a freelance consulting project to finance a home purchase. The job required a 5-day trip to Hong Kong, and hence, a visit to me.

I’d been living in Hong Kong for two years. I got paid well and lived in one of the top cities in the world, but I wasn’t happy. I worked so much that I had few close friends there and little time to build a life.

I’d wanted to do something different with my career for a few years but had done jack squat toward figuring out what that ‘something different’ was.

In walks Rachel.

The Rachel Moment

Rachel is positive, direct, intelligent, and compassionate – and she has a knack for cutting right to the heart of an issue in the nicest, warmest way imaginable.

“Why don’t you leave?” she asked, after I’d explained my situation.

“I can’t leave. I have no idea where I’m going. I’d need to book the plane ticket to an actual location.” (I used that “duh” tone reserved for the times when I feel threatened but don’t want to admit to my rising panic.)

“Is that true?” She asked it simply and quietly.

Of course it’s true, I thought, Wait – maybe it’s not true. What the hell is she saying??

Rachel continued. “How will you know what comes next if you never have the time or energy to explore it? Maybe the next step is figuring out what comes next.”

I had nothing but silence. My brain scrambled like eggs.

I knew she was right.

Uh-Oh. Now What?

It wasn’t that what Rachel said was incredibly insightful. It was more that she’d said it so simply – and that she knew exactly what she was talking about. Rachel left a predictable world and succeeded in making a great life, on her own terms.

I wanted particulars. “How long would I need to take off?”

“However long it takes. Maybe a few months?”

Damn. She wasn’t gonna give me the answers I so desperately wanted.

“But what if I take three months off, and at the end, I still don’t know what to do?”

“What if you don’t?”

Rachel sat there, compassionately still, sensing my fear and holding space so I could absorb it all.

It felt like a gong reverberated through my head.

The Truth Can’t Be Unseen

I didn’t know what to say. My gentle provocateur friend had shown me something I’d been unable to see for myself. I had absolutely no rational, logical response (read: excuses). It simply made sense.

Rachel softly spoke. “As great as it’d be to know what was going to happen, we often can’t. You can’t create a life on a timeline. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth pursuing. At the very least, you have earned a long break before you start a new job. So why not take the time to see if you can discover what it is you really want to do that’d make you excited about your life?”

Wow…

Excitement Overrun by Fear

As we talked more over that fateful weekend, it became clear that I was terrified of this subversive idea and its murky depth of unknowns.

My biggest fears (there’d be lots more later):

• I was too chicken-shit to go through with it
• I wouldn’t find what I wanted to do
• If I did figure out what I wanted, I wouldn’t have what it takes to make it happen
• I’d try and fail, with plenty of witnesses

Yeah, I was freaked out.

I was also intrigued. And excited. I held onto those feelings, even as wave after wave of alarm washed over me.

I knew, even in those early moments, that I would do it. I’d take the time to explore what I wanted to in my life, even though it would be difficult and have no easy answers.

Although it took me over a year working with a life coach  to be ready to leap, I did it.

All thanks to The Rachel Moment.

Making a Difference Can Start Small

Like the mosquito in the African proverb, you don’t need a big event to cause a life ruckus.

One simple conversation can do it.

You may say exactly what someone is ready to hear at that moment. They may say what you need to hear. You may not even be aware it’s happening in the moment.

It could be right around the corner.

Or you may look back and realize the seed of your actions was planted long ago, and it’s only now coming into fruition.

Most likely, you will hear a voice inside, the one you know speaks the truth. It may only be a whisper, but it is real.

That voice tells you to pay attention because whatever is happening will be profound if you let it.

It certainly was for me.

Have you ever had a conversation, a moment, where you realized something profound about your life? Share it here. And if you liked this post, please share it with others.

Get Tapas Living blog posts delivered to your inbox!  Scroll below to sign up.