Sunrise over Machu Picchu, taken from the Sun Gate. © Mary Beth Leisen

The Big Leap

Galapagos giant tortoise, © Mary Beth Leisen

I’ve been a nomad for 20 months now, traveling and staying with friends and family.  I took this sabbatical to pursue study, travel and explore, and to have some unforgettable experiences.

As I peruse Craig’s List apartment listings (it’s time), I’m reflecting on this incredible journey and what it meant.

This is just a tiny snapshot (with some literal snapshots), since a few chapters could be entire books.

It’s been quite a journey.

A small part of the magnificent Iguassu Falls, © Mary Beth Leisen

I nomaded differently than most of my friends in the lifestyle design community.  Some people stay in inexpensive foreign countries or drive from place to place, co-working with friends.  Most of my friends have families, however, and I have no car, so I took a more ‘extended-stay’ approach.

Chapter 1: South America Adventure

I become a nomad December 2011 to join several friends for a trip-of-a-lifetime through South America.  We all quit our jobs, stored our belongings, and rendezvoused in Quito, Ecuador to begin a four-month adventure.

Sunset over the Uyuni Salt Flats in Bolivia, @ Mary Beth Leisen

Patagonia’s Fitzroy Range, © Mary Beth Leisen

The journey took us through the Galapagos Islands, Colombia, Brazil, Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, and Peru. I spent the final month in Peru traveling solo.

It’s impossible to list all the highlights here without this post becoming a book.  For those interested in lots of pictures and the play-by-play (at least of the first 2/3 of the trip – then laziness and technical issues took over), check out my travel blog.

A quiet day at Ipenema Beach, © Mary Beth Leisen

A few key takeaways:

• Keep a journal or travel blog to remember your experiences and the ideas they sparked
• Language improvement takes practice – so get over sounding like a caveman, or you’ll miss out on lots of opportunities
• While the cities were interesting, the best experiences were all in nature
• Day hikes are no longer enough; I graduated to backpacking, and although I’m not a fan of waking up to ice on my tent, I do appreciate being able to see more unspoiled wilderness
• Managing logistics always takes more time than you think it will
• Getting lost is often a good thing

Chapter 2: Shaman Time

Q`ero paqos of Peru performing ceremony, © Mary Beth Leisen

For the past couple years, I’ve studied Peruvian shamanic energy practices with The Four Winds, and while I was on my long South American trip, I also studied directly with the Q`ero paqos in the Cusco region of Peru to deepen my understanding.

In July (2012), I returned to Peru with The Four Winds.  Linda Fitch, one of the most talented, skilled, and inspiring people I have ever known, led the expedition.  With several indigenous Q`ero paqos, Linda guided us to several sacred Inca World Heritage sites to learn and perform indigenous ceremonies.  The trip culminated in a 5-day trek on Salktantay, where we reached an altitude of nearly 16,000 feet.  It was unforgettable.

Sunrise over Salkantay, © Mary Beth Leisen

In August, I attended three weeks of shaman classes in Park City, Utah, renting a condo with friends to share the transformative experience.

Insights:

• Nature feeds my soul, and I connect strongly with practices that honor the Mother Earth
• I’ve adopted the concept of ‘ayni’ – right relationship within oneself, with others, and with all aspects of nature – as the guiding life principle to which I aspire
• 

  Mesas, or medicine bags, ready for ceremony, © Mary Beth Leisen

  Personal work at the psychological, emotional, and physical level can be quite helpful, but working at the energetic level brought growth and healing I never imagined possible

• It can be a challenge to deal with your own or other people’s shadow sides.  The opportunity is to stay strong, connected to your own truth, and and to remain grounded in radical compassion.

Chapter 3:  Marriage (Not Mine!) and Life Coach Training

At the Meet & Greet with my coach buddies Melissa & Allison (via phone screen)

In the fall, my best friend Karen and her family welcomed me into their home while I took my life coach training course, wrote, and planned next steps.  I also traveled to Phoenix for the very memorable Martha Beck Life Coach Meet & Greet.

I’ve seen many marriages (and briefly been in one myself), but Karen and John are one of, if not the strongest example of true partnership I have ever seen.  They’re perfect for each other – not like in some sappy rom-com, but in a genuine, real-life way.  They approach life as equal partners, sharing time, decisions, work, and fun.  It’s a treat to be around them and their family.

In addition to incredible hospitality, Karen and John also showed me that having a strong, loving marriage based on partnership and respect is actually possible.  If my next relationship has even half of what they have, I’d be blessed indeed.

Chapter 4: Coaching in Paradise, Birth of Tapas Living

Hawaiian sunset. Kaimana Beach, © Mary Beth Leisen

View from Kuliou`ou Ridge hike, © Mary Beth Leisen

When Chicago turned cold, I headed to Hawaii, mainly staying with my friend Ivette and her son.  Ivette has been a close gal pal since my Hawaii grad school days.

In Hawaii, I started my coaching practice and loved it.  It was a thrill to support people as they made huge life changes – and even more so to do it while enjoying warm island breezes and chirping birds through the open windows.

Life was fantastic.  I exercised, ate well, got outside a lot, coached a full client load, and began to create Tapas Living.  I spent time with very close friends and even had some fun adventures on Match.com.  I decided to stay through the end of the year and started used car shopping.

Ivette and her son watching last sunset of 2012, © Mary Beth Leisen

Biggest Realization: truly understanding that I would never be homeless.  I’d often let my fear of becoming a bag lady keep me in situations I should have left long ago.  As family and friends literally opened their doors to me, I now saw that I’d always have home, even if it weren’t my own.  Friendships like the one I share with Ivette are also safe places to open up about my darkest places of fear and vulnerability.  This deep sense of knowing I’ll never be alone in any sense felt tremendously comforting – and freeing.

Chapter 5: Life Throws a Curve Ball

On Feb 22, my life was forever changed.

My brother Peter’s wife, Angie, had been very sick for over a year, lost 40 pounds without wanting to, and saw many doctors, only to be told she had a virus, acid reflux, or was crazy.  They’d finally had enough and traveled to a different city to see another doctor, who immediately understood the seriousness of her condition.  We were waiting for biopsy results on the lemon-sized tumor he found in her colon.

“Fucking cancer” was all Pete’s text said.

Peritoneal carcinomatosis consistent with adenocarcinoma, with signet ring differentiation, to be exact.

Sophia

Terminal.

No 40^th birthday.

Fucking cancer is right.

I said good-bye to Paradise and flew to my hometown of Dubuque, Iowa to be with Peter, Angie, and my 4yo niece, Sophia.  I’d wrapped up with most of coaching clients and took no new ones.  Tapas Living went on indefinite hold.

Life got very focused, as Angie’s and my family struggled with this new and terrible reality.

I understood the sacred preciousness of life as Angie endured chemo, medical interventions, and agonizing pain so she could have as many moments as possible with her family and friends.  When you help someone prepare to leave her four-year-old daughter, priorities get very clear.

I understood what an honor it is to offer presence, love, and assistance to someone leaving this world – and to be supported by so many family and friends who gave me strength when I thought I had none.

A great day – Angie taking a neighborhood stroll with Sophia

I understood that true love is beyond words as my brother tended to Angie’s every need, wanting to be the one to care for her.  He administered medications, cleaned ports, and communicated with doctors, hoping for a miracle and finally accepting that it wouldn’t happen in this lifetime.

Angela Steve Leisen died on April 19, 2013.

We came together as a family to help Peter, Sophia, and Angie’s parents and brother as we buried Angie and faced a world without her.  Grief is a dull and ever-present ache that can also surprise you with a sucker punch so strong it literally knocks the wind out of you.  All you can do is take the hit, breathe, and continue moving forward, even when you don’t want to.

I launched Tapas Living in May.  The effort felt Herculean, but it was also a welcome diversion.  As life eased into this ‘new normal,’ I had no idea what was next for me.

I was exhausted, overwhelmed, depleted, and very sad.  I was one incredibly lost nomad.

Chapter 6: Rejuvenated in Sandpoint

Another view of Sandpoint

The answer came as an invitation from my friend Maria to stay with her and her family awhile in beautiful Sandpoint, Idaho.  I accepted.

I dog-sat for several weeks while they vacationed.  I slept a lot.  I ate healthy food.  I meditated and wrote in my journal.  I cried.  I read books and watched movies.  I hiked in the mountains and sat on their deck, soaking up sunshine and the fragrance of pine trees.  I saw a few friends and talked to others, but mostly, I passed the time alone, doing whatever felt right in the moment.

When Maria’s family returned, I was feeling much more like myself.  From then on, my time was filled with play, conversation, hanging out, an energy medicine class, and a trip to Portland for the amazing World Domination Summit.

I’d arrived a wreck but left rejuvenated and full of ideas.

Next Chapter: Chicago

Welcome back grocery shopping with my friend Lynn

I’m now in Chicago and have decided to stay, at least long enough to retrieve my belongings from storage.  More than anything else, I’m ready to have my own home, retiring my nomad status for domestication and my own pillow-top bed.  I’m looking forward to reconnecting with friends and colleagues to do some brand strategy and facilitation as I further develop my coaching practice.

I believe that everything happens as it should – not in some divine-puppeteer-pulling-the-strings way – but because, pragmatically, what happened actually happened.  If something else were supposed to happen, it would have.

It’s up to us, however, to draw meaning from our experiences, to see what they brought to our lives, what needed to change, and how we grew because they occurred.  While long by blog post standards, this post only tells a small bit of what I learned in 20 months as a nomad.  I’m still learning – but starting in September, I’ll do so from the comfort of my own living room.

Stay tuned for Housewarming Party details…

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If you’ve ever been a nomad, take a sabbatical, or however you referred to it, I’d love to hear about how you spent your time.

Was it what you expected?  What surprised you?

What did you get out of it – and what advice would you give someone contemplating nomad time?