Photo Credit: glsims99 (Creative Commons)
Aliveness in Every Moment
Living the Tapas Way is about creating a life filled with meaningful people and experiences. It’s a promise to bring as much awakeness as possible to life’s big and small moments.
I set a daily intention to do my best to abide by that promise and to actively embrace my life experience, whatever it is.
While the guidance is simple, following it isn’t always easy.
Some days I completely suck at it. I get caught up in drama or fear – or I zone out in front of a House Hunters marathon. It happens.
Each day (and each moment), however, offers a fresh start, a new opportunity to choose how to live.
Commitment vs. Burden
There’s a huge difference between a commitment and a burden.
I’m all for commitment – as long as you still believe in what you’re committing to.
Misery abounds, however, when people stay with obligations that no longer bring them any happiness, satisfaction, or success.
To that I say, what is the point? To get some award for sticking it out, even though you’re miserable?
We will all encounter enough genuine pain without piling on additional suffering – or walking around like zombies, deadened to the infinite possibilities that surround us.
When Good Commitment Goes Bad
People weighed down with outgrown obligations usually justify it by saying things like:
“I hate my job, but I’m too old and have too much experience to leave.”
“I’m not qualified to do anything else. I have to stay.”
“I’m miserable, but I’m sticking it out for the family.”
“I know he doesn’t love me anymore, but at least I’m not alone.”
Underneath all of this is usually fear. Loads of fear. And beliefs we’re buying into that simply aren’t true.
Frequently, it’s not the situation itself but one’s thinking about the situation that creates the problem. The burden is literally in our heads.
Rationalizing Away Your Life Is a Choice
I’ve justified all sorts of things in my life, so I know what that feels like. I also know I feel like crap when I rationalize something that I know doesn’t work for me. (Nasty office politics and a couple of bad boyfriends spring to mind).
Nothing feels bad in quite the same way as knowing you’re selling yourself out.
Using commitment as a justification to stay with something that’s no longer working is really just an excuse not to be brave enough change what needs to be changed – whether it’s in our own minds or out in the world.
Of course it’s true change can be incredibly challenging for lots of reasons.
The question to ask yourself is: Do I want an easy life – or a great one?
I only get one shot at this lifetime, and I want it to be great, even when this means making difficult choices.
I might be alone on this, but I seriously doubt it.
Creating Our Lives Takes Dedication
Nothing is more important than filling your life with experiences and people that give it meaning and joy.
This often means exploring lots of things to discover what works best for us. It requires some trial-and-error, which is far different than being flaky.
We can devote extensive time and energy to what we care about (whether an interest, person, or career), even to the point of expertise. That can be hugely gratifying – if you’re passionate about them.
When a part of our life no longer provides that sense of true satisfaction, however, we honor it, acknowledge the learnings we’ll take with us… and let it go.
We can actively create our lives.
Masterpieces-in-Progress
We are always works-in-progress, formed one day at a time.
When we stay curiously alert and say yes to sampling what life puts in front of us…
…we find our passions, the activities and experiences that truly sustain us.
…we connect with fascinating people who become friends for life.
…and we star in a lifetime of incredible, unforgettable stories.
I’ll definitely commit to that.
I’d love to hear your thoughts – please share them below. And if you like this, please share it. Thanks!
