Sam: The guy you want in your corner

Hero’s Journey

As may be obvious from the headline, I just watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy again.  I wanted to immerse myself in a true hero’s journey – where the good guys endure seemingly endless struggles, stay true to their mission even when all hope seems lost, and ultimately triumph with new wisdom and grace.

This time, however, I found myself increasingly conscious of Sam’s contribution.  Sure, Frodo is the protagonist.  He accepts the noble and daunting mission to destroy the ring and save the world.

But Sam?  Sam wasn’t required to do squat.

He didn’t have to go at all.

Yet that little hobbit left everything behind for a perilous journey he wasn’t likely to survive – just to support his friend.

Sam: Best. Friend. Ever.

As far as I’m concerned, Sam is the epitome of an unsung hero.  He was a true ally.

There’s no way Frodo could have done it without Sam.  NEVER.

Sam kept Frodo’s spirits up.  He maintained the vision, even when Frodo majorly faltered.

Sam spurred Frodo to action when he hesitated.  He called Frodo on his shit and exposed Gollum as the imposter he was.

Sam was exhausted, starving, and nearly killed – many times.

He carried Frodo.  Physically carried him.

Sam even stuck around when Frodo wrongly accused, rejected, and abandoned him.

At least six times, Sam literally saved Frodo’s life.  He also saved the ring.

And it wasn’t even his journey.

Why Heroes Need Sams

For any of us on a hero’s journey – whether it’s creating a brand people care about, life-changing volunteer work, raising great little humans to adulthood, or anything else that requires us to do things like climb spurting volcanoes and dodge vile Orcs – we need Sam.

It’s possible you could do it all on your own, but I seriously doubt it.  When the challenge is great, so are the obstacles.

There will likely also be resistance.

Fear.

Doubt.

Failure.

Deceit.

And possibly saboteurs.

No one said the path would be easy.

That’s where the Fellowship comes in.  The hero identifies those who can provide cover and support so she/he can focus on their core mission.

Most importantly, heroes find their Sam – or a whole mess of Sams, because the likelihood of finding one real, live human equivalent to this little Hobbit pal is tiny at best.

Sam’s Top Ten Attributes all Heroes Need Around Them

If you’re on a Hero’s Journey – in your life, your work, or your brand – I recommend that you find Sam-like allies, those who:

1. Believe in your mission – and help you stay committed to it, even when the going gets tough
2. Listen to your concerns and help you problem-solve, suggesting alternatives when roadblocks arise
3. Provide honest feedback, even when it’s not what you want to hear
4. Make you laugh and appreciate the journey as it unfolds
5. Expose imposters – whether they’re other people or the thoughts in your own head
6. Push you to act when you’re hesitant or paralyzed
7. Refuse to let you give up
8. Are willing to carry you awhile if circumstances become that dire
9. Rejoice in your success every bit as much as you do
10. Always have your back.  Always.

Where to Find Your Allies

While your family, friends, and colleagues may have many of these ally qualities, we can also find them in many others:

• Coach, Advisor or Mentor.  Whether in your organization / network or someone you hire, this person will help keep you on track to define your vision and follow through with action.  They can provide feedback, personal experience, and advice when needed.

• Mastermind Group.  A mastermind group typically consists of 3-5 people who are all on their own hero’s journeys and look to each other for expertise and strengths, often in areas where your own are lacking.  Many entrepreneurs cite mastermind groups as a key factor in their success.

• Accountability Partner.  Research shows that when you make your commitments public and are held accountable for whether you keep them, you’re far more likely to accomplish the tasks that keep you moving through your journey.

• Workshop or Class Participants. Take a workshop or class in your area of interest so you find others in your community.  In addition to class camaraderie, they often include class forums or Facebook groups so people can get advice and support from fellow participants, long after the class itself ends.

• Writers and Speakers.  Loads of (free) resources already exist on thousands of topics in books, websites, videos, and other materials that may help with your quest.

• Expert Informational Interviews.  Talk to people who have done what you’re trying to do (or something similar).  It’s amazing how open and helpful people can be when they see your passion and commitment.

• Fans and Supporters.  The more you share, the more likely you’ll find the people who truly support your vision and are inspired by it.

• People Who Will Benefit.  Sharing what you’re doing also helps you find the people who’d directly benefit if you succeed.  Since they have a vested interest, they can be a great source of motivation to keep going when times get tough.

Beware the Charlatans

Remember nasty little Gollum?

We will all run into people who appear to be allies but aren’t.  They may even be in our closest circle.  They’re the ones who:

• Start sentences with “No offense, but…”
• Encourage you to give up far before you’ve exhausted your options
• Lack true empathy, not listening or even attempting to understand why your mission is so important to you
• Point out all the problems – but none of the solutions.
• Are jealous that you’re courageous enough to try something
• Talk about you behind your back
• Etc., etc., etc.

If you see signs that someone may not actually be a true ally, pay attention and investigate further, before you end up paying too big a price.  Gollum seemed loyal – until he tried to murder Frodo and doom Middle Earth.

Having people who aren’t true allies around can drain your time, energy, money, and / or reputation, all of which can sink you.   Like Gollum, they need to go.

Find your Sams.  You’ll be glad you did.

How have you benefited from the allies in your life?

Who’s been instrumental in your achieving a dream?

Have you run into saboteurs?  How did you handle this?

What advice do you have for gaining allies?