Photo Credit: woodleywonderworks (Creative Commons)
The Beginning of My Gratitude Five
I started a gratitude practice several years ago on the advice of a friend. To be honest, I thought it was a kind of a crock at the time. But I did it anyway – and was I ever wrong.
It’s very simple. Every day, I identify five things for which I’m grateful. Today, for example, I’m grateful for an extra-frothy soy latte, my niece’s unbridled morning affection, having an hour to read a good book, a surprise call from a dear friend, and my dad not being here to see that fat squirrel raid his birdfeeder. Again.
Sometimes I note the list in my mind. Other days, I write it down, occasionally posting it as a Facebook status update. People comment with their own five things, which starts a sort of gratitude cycle.
I refer to it as my G5, rather than its official name “Five Things I’m Grateful for” because (1) dangling prepositions suck, and (2) at two characters, G5 makes Twitter look endless.
How Gratitude Changed My Life
My daily G5 practice has literally changed my life.
Not overnight, of course. That’s why it’s called a practice. It’s definitely on Small Bites end of things.
I’ve noticed three key differences:
1. Positivity is the Center of Attention
I’ll be honest: while I’m generally an optimist, I have been known to RSVP yes to a pity party or bitchfest. Every time I do, I feel the energy suck out of me and end up with a wicked negativity hangover.
Lately, however, I realized far more quickly that this isn’t my scene and bolt, without even stopping by the hors d’oeuvres table.
With regular practice, gratitude becomes a habit, one that neutralizes negativity like a gracious host neutralizes an obnoxious guest.
Like attracts like, so the more I focus on gratitude, the more I invite positive energy, good moods, and fun people who want to stay and hang out. That’s my kind of fiesta.
2. Gratitude Scanning Is Second Nature
Regular G5 practice trains my brain that gratitude is important (see Shawn Achor’s informative and entertaining TEDx talk for more on this).
Eager to please, my brain finds more things I am – or could be – grateful for.
Long after I’ve done my G5 for the day, I find myself thinking “Let’s see… What am I grateful for now?” as if I’m living in the bonus round.
Given the plethora of negative options, I appreciate it when my brain devotes its precious and ever-dwindling resources to highlight what’s going well and to focus on what’s truly meaningful.
3. Silver Linings Are More Apparent
Let’s face it: no matter what your attitude, painful shit is still going to happen.
During such times in the past, I likely would have hopped the express train to clinical depression station. I would have overlooked or discounted anything remotely positive.
Now, I definitely acknowledge the pain as it arises and feel all the emotions that go with it. While not pleasant, resisting reality isn’t helpful.
Even on the worst days, I have no trouble coming up with my G5, despite the tears that may spill across the entries. Gratitude helps me recognize support, learning, love, and beauty, no matter how ugly the circumstances.
This has been the greatest reward of all.
Gratitude Bennies are Backed by Science
Don’t take my word for it: the benefits of gratitude practice are backed by research. Loads of it.
I won’t turn this into a full academic review, but gratitude improves health, sleep, life satisfaction, emotional well-being, relationships, coping abilities and recovery time. It reduces anxiety and depression and makes people less likely to react aggressively.
Robert Emmons, a UC Davis professor has conducted many studies as part of the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness. This New York Times article is full of research results and tips. Or Google “gratitude research” and have a field day.
Pragmatic, Not Pollyanna
True story: a coworker once called me a cynical reactionary hothead. (I was in a brutal graduate program at the time.) While I’ve softened a lot since then, I still retain a bit of sarcasm, and my head still teams at injustice.
Simply put, I like myself a whole lot better when I’m not whining, bitching, or ignoring all the good stuff in my life. I’ve noticed the quantity and quality of my friendships rising quite a bit, so I’d bet my peeps would agree.
Start a Gratitude Practice
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ll stay it straight out: a gratitude practice is the most important small step you can take to change your life.
Join me. Every single day, find five things you’re grateful for. You can think, say, or write them. It doesn’t matter. Just do it. Five good things you noticed today. RSVP yes, and start right now.
Take Your Practice Even Further
To take your gratitude practice even deeper, try these three things:
- Keep a gratitude journal. Collect your daily G5’s to notice changes, patterns, and hints about what truly brings you joy.
- Share with others. Tell people when they make the list and/or post your G5 on your favorite social network. Gratitude is contagious, so watch where it goes.
- Write a gratitude letter. Tell someone how they’ve made a difference in your life – and bonus points if it’s handwritten and mailed the old-fashioned way.
What am I grateful for right now?
I’m grateful that I finished this post. I’d also appreciate it if you share it – and leave your comments below. Thanks!
